What is Love?
When do we know?
How do we know?
What is love? Who defines it? The word love is so abused and so used that I sometimes wonder if anyone really knows what love is. So I set out a crusade to find out love but I really did not want to define love as a universal concept I wanted to know what love really is. I knew it is a feeling. I knew that the only kind of love that has been long lasting that I can point out is with my family and my God. But I wanted to dive a little deeper to find the true answers of love.
So I asked around I talked Astrologers, I spoke to psychics, Clairvoyants, family, friends and even counselors but no one could really give me a clear answer until I spoke to my Guru and he said the answers are in the Gita look and you shall find.
My journey was triggered by my clients for years clients kept asking me question “Does he love me?” I always hesitate to answer and sometimes I become very rhetorical when answering such a complex question.
Being born in India we do not take love very lightly, however, I have noticed that in the United States, I have heard guys say to their buddies, “I love you man” or women say to their girlfriends “ I love you” and the next time they have a argument, its “I hate you!”
In the Hindu culture love is never universal except for the love of God. Each one of us loves differently and it instilled in us through our own grassroots i.e. parents, caregivers, teachers, grandparents and distant relatives as well.
According to the scriptures of the Gita there they define many kinds of love.
- Unconditional love- Love of God and a love of a child to his mother(this is also when we feel our parents do not love us we still love them – as we should) it is not only written in the Gita but in the Christian Bible (“love thy parent)
This kind of love is the purest love of them all and all humans should love this way. This kind of love has no expectations, only forgiveness and respect.
- Loving someone one- This is a love of sibling, or distant relative. Though they often do things to hurt you and sometimes disappear out of our lives only to return because you have the blood line (Krishna & Aruna) and the western ideology it states “blood is thicker than water”. Though this kind of love has conditions and expectations, this love is based upon the moral ethics within the grassroots of family. Family expectations, morality and respect.
- Being in Love- This would be a love of two romantic partners of opposite sex or the same sex depending upon the orientation. This is what we call in the Gita a honeymoon stage. It’s all nice and wonderful. Until we start to see if this person is really an image of us and it can either die away or remain constant which is levitate to #2 description of love.
- Love with lust- In the Gita lust is a negative conjugation it become an evil sense of conditions, expectation, co dependency, and obsession. Many of us mistake this for love. Our emotions often run high in this kind of love so much so that we place the other person in front of our own needs and therefore interference of the Universal God condones idealism. When the other person becomes so enriched in our lives that we stop our lives for them. (Like the movie fatal attraction). This often leads to insecurities and we invade our partner’s privacy, follow them, tap their phone and often times we are not honest in our feelings.
- Lastly, there is puppy love- This often an infatuation built within a short period of time. This kind of love would be found in young children’s image of love. But in adults we often believe that one night stand now becomes our obsessions and we do not look at things realistically. Meeting a person only one time and think that something will be started etc.
I had a women call me once and she had a one night stand while she was traveling between Chicago and New York and with a heavy storm many passengers were given vouchers to hotel accommodations. With the storm almost every hotel room was booked but there was one room left. After a great deal of thought she asked one of male passengers if would like to share the room for the night. Of course one thing leads to another and they ended up sleeping together. Not knowing his name or where he lived or even his telephone number she kept asking if he will ever contact her again. Reminding you both of them did not know each others name.
She became so obsessed that she later told me she spend thousand of dollars with many people and 3 years of her precious time obsessing over only to discovered what I said was correct. You may never find him because Airlines can not give you information. And she has never found him to this day. But the important lesson in this was that it was purely lust. Love does not develop in bed or in one date it develops over time.
But this questioning has not only been in my clients minds but my children too. I remember when my oldest son’s girlfriend left him because he never said to her that he loved her, and he told her honestly, “how can I know what love is, if the only love I ever knew is of my mothers and never felt anything that was so sublime as the one that I feel from her.” With tears in his eyes he said to me, “mom. Is it wrong to tell the truth.” I hugged him so tight and I said, “no son you will know, you will feel and you will embrace love when God is willing to show you but be open and you will see”
Love is never universal because we all define it differently. To me what real love would be different than what you may consider love. Though in love we all have expectation, however, love is not an obsession, love does not demean your character, love does not betray, love is never to be rushed. Love happens to all of us and it has to all of us.
So when you ask a speaker, “does he love me?” perhaps you might want to restructure the question by asking, “is he capable of loving me as I need to be loved” always remember there is no black and white in this question. That means there is NO real YES or NO, it is more complex so if you get a YES, you can estimate that it was a guess however, if the question is asked to a good reader they should describe either how he/she sees you as or what he/she can give to you.
May this help you through your many days of discovery so that you can define love in your own way and love the way you want to be loved
Though some of these concepts are being repeated from my show with Destiny Tarot on Psychic Bitch it has been revised as I bring more prospective to an ongoing expansion of definition of love. Below is both the archived version of the show by date so it is easily accessible.
February 26, 2010