Be The New You …
Remember people love you as you love your self…
One of the saddest times in our lives can be during the holidays. Especially during Valentines Day when we see some of our friends go out with their boyfriends and husbands. It hurts even more when we see gifts delivered to our jobs but it is not for us. And sometimes we are wishing someone that cared enough to do the same. But often forget that the love that people show in a material world may not be as exclusive as the love we should show to our selves and our loved ones on a daily basis.
Contrary to what they say on the radio and television, we do not need someone to tell us we are loved. To be able to love your self enough means to treat your self too. Give your self a card; treat your self to a special Valentines Day most of all write to your self. I bet you might think this is funny but have you ever written to your self? The answer to that might be a little chuckling but its ok.
Remember the times when notes were passed in class by someone you liked? How about passing your self a note, parent the child within you. Ask your self some kind words, tell your self about what you accomplished today, why not pamper your self today and make an appointment with the hair dresser, how about joining a gym and exercise. They say when you exercise your body you exercise your soul. How long as it been since you were in a bubble bath? How long has it been since you went shopping for your self? The activities that you find pleasure in will help boost your own enthusiasm so that you can reflect this to all the people around you.
When you find pleasure in the little things in life you will finally have the ability to honestly ask for help when you need it without expectations. When the healthy boundaries are placed in your life and you have less expectations you will not have disappointments. Sometimes we all need help in something’s in our lives being helpless does not mean you are weak but acting helpless is another thing. The turning point in your life comes when you have faith that everything we need will be taken care of and everything we want will be a miracle through faith.
Faith is not the same thing as expecting others to lend a hand, faith means that you believe in your self and believe that when you take care of yourself you take care of others. I know many of you may say to me how you can say that when you are working 13 hour days, how I can say that is because I keep going. I know that there will come a time for “me” time soon and universe will show me the “me” time when the time is right. So that people who relay on me right now will now allow me to show my capabilities rather then just my abilities to get the job done and this is done through releasing the inner child. When we release the inner child within us we release the energy of negativity and out of no where comes this burst of energy of creating healthy boundaries between your self and your partner or the people you love.
Loving your self often is not easy when we are too busy taking care of others. But sometimes when we release the inner child and set healthy boundaries between our selves and our relationship life this is when all comes together. Many co-dependent people do not understand that we continue to play the role of the fixer, the parent, the rescuer that we forget we are getting ill in the process. Often times when we are also being a role which we are not we disable our selves to feel emotions. We erupt like a volcano it basically killing our soul as well as killing people around us emotionally.
The only way to figure out which role to play in our lives is to do healthy inventory by asking your self:
- Am I always rescuing people?
- Am I always a scapegoat to people’s aggression?
- Do I always play a mascot to people and never having others play one too?
- Am I always a victim by always complaining of what I do not have rather than what I do?
- Am I always trying to win and argument or feel as though I must be always right?
- Am I always trying to look too beautiful rather than being my self?
- Am I always trying to be so smart that I have no time to think?
- Am I always nurturing others and there is no one to nurture me?
- Am I always helping someone one that I don’t take time to help me?
- Do I always look for people to take care of and am too busy not able to take care of me?
This is where the healthy boundaries are. Learning to say no without being vindictive and understanding just like your self others need space, time and nurture too.
Starting today ask yourself what did you do today that you said you would do and really get it done. And how did you spoil your self today for example today I had a pizza and a coke while I am always dieting that was my gift to my self. Tomorrow while shopping for my doggy I will stop a Barnes & Nobel and get a relaxing book. The next day it will be Valentines Day and while I go search for the perfect card for my children. I will also buy something for my self that will make me feel good be it a little ornament for my door or even nice linen what ever it may be there will be a little for them and little for me. And every day I promise to ask the universe to forgive those who have hurt me. Because just like me they do not know what they do therefore, I am not perfect either. But tomorrow is a better day than today and Valentines Day will be even more special because I love me just as much as I love you. But if you don’t love me back as much as I love you that is okey because I love me just enough and everything else will fall into place.
And on Valentines Day the most beautiful joyous moment will be that I have another day with my son and another day in life with all of you. Because its not just about I love you’s but it is all about I understand you and am here for you if you ever need me. Though I am not always there but you are always there in my sprit and my thoughts even when my world becomes busy and even when I wrote this.. this is my heart and this is my soul but most of all this is my spirituality and this is my gift to you on Valentines Day and the only thing I ask in return is please love your self so that you can love others like the universe loves you … unconditionally.
This blog was aired live on Blog Talk radio on February 12, 2010, though it was a short segment thank you all for coming.