Maharani Rutan

Archive for the ‘Body Mind and Spirit’ Category

Stopping the Madness Step 4

Step #4

Love Your Self 

To build a long sustaining relationship we must have a relationship not only with the ones that we love but ourselves.  We spend so much time taking care of others that we forget that we have needs that have not been met.  Though we often have a tendency to push aside our needs that it becomes a volcano ready to erupt which only leads to conflicts in a relationship which could have been avoided from the beginning if only we had set boundaries.  

Relationships are created because the person we are interested in fills the void which we were not able to fulfill ourselves.  Our fulfillment is not always on a consistent level which we have programmed ourselves to do so when the other person is not consistent with their actions we feel that they do not care or perhaps if we do more then the other party will put more effort.  However, we fail to realize that this is obsession. 

 In the previous chapters I have discussed that to control habits of obsession we must first get fired.  This means that it is not our job to fulfill the other persons every need or get so involved in the other person that it directly affects our lives this will only lead to dissatisfaction.  The second chapter emphasized on trying not to fix the other person so that they mold into our world, what we do not realize is that if we do not accept the person as they are kinks and all then we are not accepting ourselves within that relationship.

 Human beings are very fixated on gratification that we all have needs that are often geared from within our selves and always looking attention.  The disappointment becomes a habit so we are always in search of someone better or someone that is more perfect.  But, there is no perfect person and you are NOT perfect either. There is only one perfect thing which is the universal energy. But even universal energy can’t help you when you are imposing another human being in place of it. So what is the solution?

 This solution is simple yet very unique. The best way to love others is love your self and respect your self to its fullest.  This means to find your own energy and the way to do it is:

 LOVE YOUR SELF.

 Through out our childhood we were often reminded how much we were loved or appreciated or we had no choice but to love our selves unconditionally.  I am sure you remember the times when you had to make your own dinner, put your self to sleep, do your own homework, make your own friends, and basically take care of your self.  We basically nurtured and took care of ourselves. It is not selfish to still do that but at a deeper level. When we give so much of our selves to others we exhaust ourselves emotionally. The emotional deprivation can lead to failing health, depression and even creating chaos in our own relationships.

 According to Judy Hayes book Smart Love,”It is not selfish to nurture our bodies and spirits in fact only after we have nurtured ourselves can we be genuinely and freely loving towards others.”(2001, pg.49).  But we are so used to having others nurture us that we forgot how to nurture ourselves so we look for others to accreditation by giving and hoping for things in return.

 There is a old saying in the spiritual world to find your inner child, however this comes from child hood also meaning if your childhood was full of restrictions therefore, your inner child will to will be restricted.  When you are nurturing your inner child then only can sincerely be nurturing towards others. We absolutely can not expect others to always place us on a pedestal and gloat us all of the time when and if we do then we will be disappointed and even when you do this can only mean that the other person is so desperate for a relationship that when they find someone better than you where they have not do it all of the time this is where they will go.

 To be able to contact your inner child means to contact the universe by taking care of your self.  Began with small steps without expectations such as:

 Be with nature

• Take a 10 minute walk by your self and connect with nature.  Try to increase this every week.
• Go to the zoo or the park or go hiking, running or just watch even children play
• Walk on the beach or a lake-make sure you sit down and exhale for at least 10 minutes

Be kind to your mind

• Take a 10 minute time out by closing your eyes and thinking about good things.
• Read a funny book for 10 to 15 minutes a day (laughter is a great medicine)
• Watch a funny show or at least try once a week.

Be kind to your soul

• Meditate
• Listen to soft music (instrumental please)
• Get on your knees and pray for peace ONLY.

Be kind to your body

• Stretch every morning or take Yoga Classes
• Go to the gym or exercise 20 minutes a day
• Cut back on sweets, salt and anything that is not healthy for you

Be kind to your heart

• Call up a family member whom you have not spoken to in a while and just say I love you.
• Call up a friend (not an ex or boyfriend) whom you have not spoken to in a while and just say hello.
• Call up a colleague or someone you connected on an intellectual level and ask them how they are doing.

 When you take the small steps and do it without asking for one thing in return then you are ready to connect on a more complex level of connecting with your inner child.  This means your thought pattern must change.  This means also that you must look at each situation in a different way. 

For example: If you broke up with someone and you pine over them. Our natural instinct forces us to think in a negative way so that we can justify the break up in our own mind.

 Present thought process: I gave everything to __________.  He/She never gave back to me.  I really tried but I still do not understand why ____________ does not want me anymore.

 New thought process: I did everything I could and I learned a lot.  If I only known what I know now I would be a better person in that relationship. However, this is the Universe’s way of saying I still have a lot to learn and until I can truly apply what I know I can not practice with feelings by going back right away or obsessing over ___________ right now.

 

For example: If you are in a relationship with someone and they are not being attentive this is also a good example of a friend and relative. They do not either return your calls when you want them to or they do not call you back right away or they are not supportive of you and you feel like you are talking to a wall.  These things may process in your mind such as:

 Present thought process: When I call someone I expect them to call me back.  I am always there for _____________, and they are never there for me.  Perhaps I am too needy and maybe I should back off and give that other person some space.  But I am afraid the moment they call me I will let them have it because it’s not fair.

 New thought process: Maybe ____________is busy or the phone is out of reception area and I am sure he/she will call me as soon as they can because I know they know I have called.  I will call someone else in the mean time.

 

Last example: I had something horrible happen to me at work and just needed someone to talk to and I just can’t believe that ________________ cut me off.  They did not hear anything I said and abruptly said that they had to go and they are always telling me it’s my fault.  Perhaps it is and may be I should not be so critical and I deserve to be disrespected because what comes around goes around.

New thought process: Maybe _____________was not in a good mood and they had a lot on their mind.  Perhaps I should have asked if they were busy and now I learned.  I will instead go for a walk or do some meditation because this is my problem and I have to deal with it my self.

   

These are perfect examples of having too many expectations of others as well as looking for approval from others.  Most of the time when we do get approval it is not long lasting because when you bring up when they agreed as was there for you, they may say such thing as that is what I felt then right now I feel this way.  This can only make you feel disappointed.  As I have always said if you come from a dysfunctional family where there was not approval, affection or appreciation then most likely you will try to gain this from others and often times the relationship you are in will also become dysfunctional, and abusive.

 An ability to talk to your inner child must not be in a sarcastic or egotistical way it must be nurturing almost like you are talking to child.  Because you’re inner child has been hidden for so long. Be honest with your self; apologize to your self, reward your self, ask for your forgiveness, ask your self not to be afraid or have insecurities because the universe brought you here to have faith in it not others.  Human beings are just characters in your world they are teachers, friends and especially those that you are suppose to learn from not necessarily someone you can always count on because they have a life too and sometimes you are not a part of it, this does not mean they do not care, but it means they have boundaries and they are also nurturing their inner child.  If they are not then they loose not you because you will be that person who knows who you are and like any rose you will feed it, nurture it, look at it, and most of all fertilize it every day because that rose is beautiful rose and wants to be the most beautiful thing that the universe has ever seen.

Having said that… know I love you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart because you are now reading this and my energy brought you here that means that I was able to capture on minute of your time which means that your minute was ever most precious and I love you for it and I thank you for it.

 Sadly, life caught up to me Friday night and I was not able to air the segment of this topic therefore, I have taken the liberty to post this for those who want to start working on step #4.  I apologize for those who came to my show and I was not able to make it and I promise I will make it up to you.

Namaste

Maharani

 

 

Prayers

Prayer is the foundation of success. In the most carefully controlled scientific study ever performed on the effects of prayer on healing, cardiologist Randolph Byrd, formerly a University of California professor, showed that prayer is a powerful force in healing and that sometimes it can make the difference between life and death for the sick person. The sages tell us that for a prayer to be effective, faith in the Divine, concentration of the mind, and positive thinking is necessary prerequisites before, during and after the prayer.

If one prays for success and at the same time holds thoughts of failure within, the prayer will not be answered. Sages tell us that the mind is the transmitter of prayers. Thus, a prayer transmitted by a restless mind is akin to broadcasting over a broken transmitter. To receive God’s answer to our prayers, sages provide the following instructions for prayers: Meditate before praying to calm restless thoughts. Keep the body still throughout meditation. “Be still and know you are God.” According to yogic literature, the nerve center between the eye-brows (ajna chakra) is the transmitter of prayer and the heart is the receiver of God’s answer to the prayer. If a prayer is properly transmitted, God’s answer appears in the form of subtle feeling(s) arising in the heart following the prayer. To pray, focus attention at the center between the eyebrows and say the prayer mentally with the deepest devotion of your heart. Repeat the prayer until it becomes one with your consciousness. Always pray to God as His child, who demands the rightful share of all God’s bounties. Never pray to God as a beggar. I am a firm believer in Meditation and manifestation. I believe that you can change anything in your life if you wish to do so. Below are some techniques that may help you in reaching the pentacle point of your life and your aspirations.

Candle Prayers

Candle Prayers: In the evening find a quite place where you are able to read and relax. The following candles will give you what you need they need to be anointed with certain oils to give you the best possible solution also take a plain white piece of paper and write your aspiration on the paper and place the candle of your choice over the paper. I recommend the following bible verses to chant after your affirmation: 2 Samuel 22:45-51,Isaiah 54:17,Psalm 86,Psalm 35,psalm 91,John 15,John 1. These are your options. White can be anointed with protection oil and wisdom or lavender. Peace, healing tranquility. Green- Come to me oil or Prosperity oil or lavender (prosperity). Yellow candle should be anointed with Protection oil or lavender (Institution and friendliness). Orange- Wisdom oil or come to me – brings luck. I do not recommend red/pink for anyone that is going through problems at this time. Red is too fire and pink is passion that is difficult when one has not healed completely. After the candles have completely burnt out. Than bury the candle wax somewhere

Easy Meditation

Often in our lives we just need a little guidance to get us centered. Many of you are already aware I spend a lot of time doing poojas and meditations and Reiki. I try to find time early mornings around 4:30 to 5:30 and late night between 11:00-12:00. For those who feel the chaos of everyday life and just don’t feel centered at times below are some techniques that will help you find peace within your self and manifest sanctuary in your everyday life. Especially these planetary retrograde for those fixed signs do not forget to meditate and clean your home and burn frankincense and myrrh.

Meditation the proper way: Meditation provides the ability to silence the mind and experience the inner self. Meditation restores natural power to the mind just as charging restores power to a worn out battery. Meditation destroys worries, fear, and stress that people experience in the “cut-throat” competitive environment of modern societies. When the mind becomes quiet, the body becomes quiet too and knows how to repair itself. The following simple technique may be used to meditate daily: Sit in a cross-legged pose on the floor or on a chair with feet flat on the ground. Keep the spine straight and fully relax the body and mind. Your overall feeling should be as if you are sitting on the beach of a calm ocean, on a starry cool night of the summer. Close the eyes and gently focus attention at the center between the eyebrows (ajna chakra). Breathe normally (don’t force breathing in any way) and say mentally Rã (ã as in father) while inhaling and Mã (ã as in father) while exhaling. Practice this meditation technique 20 to 30 minutes twice daily, in the mornings and evenings, before meals. At the end of the meditation, with the eyes closed and attention focused at the center between the eyebrows, say the following prayer, as recommended by Paramahansa Yogãnanda: “I will reason, I will create, I will do everything I set my mind to do, but Oh Lord, guide my creative abilities to do the right thing that I should do.” Prayer and what it does. Prayer is a very powerful tool available to man to purify the mind and gain spiritual strength.

Meditation Techniques: Purchase some relaxing music (I prefer Indian flute or Fairies). Lay in your bed completely relaxed. Close your eyes and visualize God by you as if you were having a conversation. These are the words you can possibly say to him:” I love you, I think you are beautiful, we have shared so many wonderful moments, I love everything about you. God shine the light upon my soul and the guardian angles give me peace and harmony. Give me clarity, honesty and love that I deserve” Spiritual Baths: Fill your bathtub with some lavender oil and luke warm water. Place some sandalwood incense somewhere in your bathroom for you to get a sense of touch. Cover your eyes with a white cloth that is dipped in lavender oil. Relax and release the tension and the negative energy which maybe causing conflicts in your life